Deliveries
by FRIENDLYAC130
Summary: Robin gets out of the Army and needs to start working odd jobs to save up money. He moves in with his sister's family. Hilarity ensues.
1. Chapter 1

"And that's the last of the gear. Congratulations, sir. I don't know how the youngest warrant officer I've ever known also lasted the shortest amount of time, but you're free to walk out this door right about now," the sergeant said.

Robin shook his head.

The sergeant sighed. "I didn't mean it like you were bad, sir. Come on."

"Nah," Robin replied. "I just didn't realize I'd be getting out so soon either."

"Well… are you gonna finish college now? Maybe re-up as an LT?"

Robin shook his head. "I'm done with the Army. And the Navy. And the Marines. And the Air Force. And the Coast Guard. And the-"

"Okay, okay. Sir. I get it," the Sergeant got up. "Best of luck, sir. I mean it when I say that you were the best we've had in years."

They shook hands and Robin left.

_Damn. _Robin said. He messed with his hair a bit and got into the truck to go home. _That's the first time I've gone to work in a hoodie and jeans. No wonder he was so stunned when I walked in._

Robin had the few possessions he had in the truck. They rattled as he rolled down the highway. It was a nice day outside, and Robin had originally planned to go to the beach with the friends he had in the Army, but he decided against it at the last second in favor of going home earlier.

_Maybe I should finish that degree, _he thought. _I wonder if Chrom was serious when he said I could crash at his place for a while. God, is Dad going to want to see me? I _really _was supposed to finish my degree. I'm going to be an old ass second semester freshman. 22. What the hell? I can't believe this. What kind of Freshman is 22?_

Robin got a phone call. He answered quickly, eager to break the silence in his thoughts.

"Hey Robin!" The voice said on the other line. "Soooooo... are you coming?"

"Oh hey, sis," Robin replied dully. "Yeah, I'm on the highway actually. I was thinking of going home too. I really can't decide."

"Wow! So you're driving toward us right now? That's great! I can't wait to see you! How was getting out?"

"It was… It was alright."

"So, are you going to fly again? Maybe do airlines? Hospitals?"

"Uhh… I mean… I'm not even done with school yet-"

"Oh don't be silly," she assured him. "You could be perfectly stable if you decided fly commercially."

"Yeah, I guess I could. I didn't really fly my last year while I was in operations though. Also wouldn't Dad be angry?"

"Vali- Dad would be angry I guess. He always was about you finishing your education…" she trailed off.

"He always seemed to like you. So much he named us the same thing," Robin noted. "Guess you don't know what him getting mad is like."

"No, no. I do. I was there when he got mad at you, remember?"

Robin scoffed. "Don't remind me. Anyway, I'll see you soon. Tell Chrom hi for me."

"Bye!"

Robin hung up the phone on his sister, Robin. He sighed.

"Call Dad," he told his phone. After a few rings, his father picked up.

"Hello? Son?"

"Hey Dad. What's up?" 

"So… you got out. Congrats on your career son. When are you coming home?"

"Uh- I don't know. I didn't really think about coming home to be honest." Robin lied.

"A shame," Validar said. "Your mother and I miss you."

"Yeah, me too."

"Well, sorry I'm a bit busy right now," he said. "Classes start in a bit. By the way, are you still going back to school?"

"I don't know, Dad."

"For shame. You could have been a lawyer like your sister. Or a doctor like her husband's sister. Hell you even could have done what her husband did. Serve in the reserves and be the mayor-"

"Dad! Come on." Robin groaned.

"Alright- I'll stop," Validar laughed. "Just come home, alright?"

"Yeah sure."

A little while later, Robin reached Chrom and his sister's house. He knocked on the door.

A tall teenage girl answered the door, peeking out.

"Hello? Uh… Give me a second. Mooooooom!"

"Yes, honey?"

"Some guy is at the door! I think he's trying to sell us stuff!"

"What does he look like, honey?"

"Uhh-" Lucina finally looked at him.

Robin glared at her. "You really didn't realize it was me?"

"Oh- wait Robin?" Lucina looked up at him. "I- I really didn't know."

"Yeah it's me," Robin said. "Now that you know I'm not _some guy_ can I come in?"

"Uh-" Lucina turned. "Mom, it's Robin!"

Her mother laughed at her. "You really didn't recognize your uncle? He's going to be staying with us for the next few days."

"But-" Lucina stammered.

"Aw, don't worry," Robin smirked. "I don't bite." 

"But mom, wasn't-"

"Yes honey, you can _still _have your house party here," Robin said from upstairs. "Now could you please-"

Robin threw a bundle of sheets and bedding at Lucina, who collapsed under the weight of it.

Another teenager popped out from behind.

"Uncle Robin!" He exclaimed. He ran up to hug Robin.

"Oh hey Morgan," Robin said. "How are you?"

Another car rolled up on the driveway. After a blare of horns, a frustrated driver got out. He walked up towards the doorstep.

"Look pal, it's cool you're dating my daughter, but you _cannot _be parking in _my _spot!" Chrom said.

"What?" Lucina and Robin said simultaneously.

"Oh. Robin?" Chrom said.

"Damn, you have a boyfriend Lucina?" Robin asked. "How does he put up with you?"

"Sh- shut up!" Lucina said. She left quickly to prepare Robin's bedding in the basement.

"Long time no see bro!" Chrom exclaimed as he pulled Robin in for a hug.

"I missed you man," Robin replied. "Are kids all good? How's the younger one. He was just here."

"Sorry. Yeah, they're fine. Doing well in school and staying out of trouble. Do you need help with your things?" 

"Yeah, thanks. Let's go together," Robin said.

They untied some of the items from the bed of the truck.

"I still can't get over the fact that you married my sister and you babysat me," Robin said as they were working. Robin finished picking up the last of his bags.

"I can't get over the fact that my first company commander was your battalion commander," Chrom said, slinging a duffel bag over his shoulder. "How is Frederick?"

"Colonel Baumgartner's alright," Robin said. "Health's deteriorating a bit, but he was there for my farewell surgery in spite of the surgery."

"I… I see." Chrom said. "Yeah, I really feel for him. He was always an exercise nut, so I can't imagine what he's feeling right now not being able to do that."

They went to the downstairs of their house. Lucina had finished rather sloppily doing Robin's bedding.

"Lucina! Could you have put any less effort into this?" Chrom called.

There was no response.

Robin began working on folding the bedding over again. "It's fine. I'm a bit particular about this kind of thing."

"Ah. Well, I have to go take care of some things. Do you want to go out for dinner tonight?"

"Sure," Robin replied. He kept folding.

"Alright, see you then."

Robin finished folding and hit the bed.

_Why couldn't I have just gotten out right before school? Wouldn't have been dealing with _this_ mess._


	2. Chapter 2

**Having two Robins is a lot of work. We're gonna make things a bit easier on you guys.**

"Honey?" Chrom asked.

"What?" Robin replied.

"Should I invite my mom and dad?"

Robin laughed. "I'm not going to turn down hanging out with your mom, ever. By the way, how do I look?"

Chrom looked up from his phone to look at her. He smiled.

"Remember when I said I thought of you as one of the guys?"

"I do- Hey!" Robin threw a handful of clothing at Chrom. Chrom tried to dodge but a really hard bit of Jewelry hit him square in the cheek.

"What- No! That's not what I was saying-" Chrom insisted. He covered his cheek.

"Then what?! What were you saying?"

"I meant I- Look I've come a long way and I really just appreciate how-"

Whatever Chrom wanted to say to save himself was lost: there was a loud cry downstairs.

"H-honey, could you check on your brother?"

"Saved by the bell," Robin smirked. "You were just about to be sleeping on the couch."

Chrom sighed in relief.

Downstairs, male Robin was frozen in fear.

"Alright, Rob, what happened," female Robin asked.

Rob pointed slowly across the kitchen at an angry Lucina.

She sighed. "Honey what did you do?"

"I didn't do anything, mom! He just barged into my study while I was filming a video for class and-"

"Y-you weren't filming a video for c-class," Rob said, still huddled in his chair in fear.

"_Really?" _female Robin asked.

Lucina looked simultaneously terrified and full of anger.

"Lucina… I don't want to check your phone… just be honest…"

Rob shook in fear and ducked his head into his knees. He moved too swiftly and ended up huddled on the ground in a fetal position. He rocked back slowly.

"_You _on the other hand are being an idiot. Was it really that bad?" Female Robin asked.

Rob nodded and had a completely blank expression as he began to rock back and forth and back and forth.

"Were you like… touching your-"

"EW! No mom!"

"Glad we taught you better," female Robin said. "What was it that was so bad then?"

"I was- I was shooting a makeup tutorial okay mom? _Gosh._"

"A mak- God dammit. What was so scary about that Rob?" female Robin asked.

Rob was rolling over the floor now.

"Are you- quit being a drama queen!" Female Robin kicked her brother, which made him whimper.

"My friend from high school said he wanted to lick your toes…" Robin said in a tiny voice. "I didn't know it was you…"

Female Robin sighed. "We _warned_ you about not doing this kind of thing before you turn 18. Now you get to hear about what nasty perverts are going to be venmo requesting you in exchange for your feet pics."

Before Lucina began to protest, Morgan came from upstairs. He observed his brave, war-hero uncle on the floor rolling around like a pillbug, his sister furious, and his mother with an annoyed expression on his face.

"Um-" Morgan said. "Mom, is it- is it like time for dinner or something?"

"Yeah. Yes it is," female Robin said shaking her head. "Come on, get in the car, all of you."

"Can I ride with Uncle?" Morgan asked. "Luci's annoying."

"If he ever stops acting like a complete idiot, then yes," female Robin said. "Also, trust me, your Uncle is worse."

Male Robin had apparently gotten over his fear now. He got up from his spot and went to grab his keys. "Come on Morgan," he called.

Chrom had finally exited the upstairs bathroom at this point. He yawned a bit. "Mom and Dad are coming." He sighed. Nobody was in the house, and the car was running outside.

"Caeda!" Marth protested.

"Oh come on. You don't do anything these days but sit around here all grouchy after you've finished your workout anyway," Caeda said throwing on a coat. "Football can wait. Your son in law just got out of the Army"

"I-I mean I do want to see Robin, but-" Marth stammered.

"What's the harm? Everyone's coming! Chrom, Emmeryn, Lissa, Robin, Robin, your grandkids-"

"I-"

"Dammit Marth, just move your ass and get in the car, or you're sleeping on the couch tonight!"

Marth sighed. There was no winning this one. He grabbed the keys and went into the car with Caeda.

Rob apparently forgot to hide the photo album on his dashboard. _Please God don't look in that Please God don't look in that Please God don't-_

"Woah, uncle what's this?" Morgan said picking up the photo album. "Can I see?"

"Uh- no Morgan you can't heh," Rob said nervously.

"Why not?" Morgan smiled devilishly.

"Um... " Rob said. "Because- because there are photos of- photos of adult stuff! Yeah adult stuff."

"Oooookaaaaayyyy, that's kinda gross," Morgan said slowly, putting the album back.

"Wait, no!" Rob said. "That's not what I meant!"

"What'd you mean then?" Morgan asked.

"Uh-" Rob stuttered. "Well- there's a really embarrassing photoshoot that has your grandfather crossdressing… And uh- he'd kill me if he knew I had it. Just uh- try to ignore it okay?"

"Yeah," Morgan said. "Okay, so can I look?"

"No!"

"Okay," Morgan said. _Now how do I smuggle this photo album out, _Morgan thought.

_He better not find the photos I have of Lissa in there, _Rob thought. _Oh man, I had the _biggest _crush in high school. I wonder if she's single. Wait- no, Robin, that's weird as hell. She's like your cousin now. Huh…_

Just then, the radio station played "Sweet Home Alabama".

_Yo, what the-_

"So like are you living with us forever now?" Morgan asked, breaking Rob's soliloquy.

"Not forever, pal. Just the summer," Rob responded. They were about halfway there to the restaurant now.

"Oh okay…" Morgan said a bit sadly. "Are you going to take me skydiving with you again?"

"Sure, pal, if your mom lets you again," Rob answered. "Although… last time was a bit messy."

"Oh yeah. Sorry about that I didn't know," Morgan apologized.

"It's okay. Just try to land on solid ground this time." Robin laughed.

"Uncle?"

"Yeah?" Rob answered.

"So, like, I have this crush on this girl in my class, but mom is like really strict on dating, but like I really like her and I think she likes me like-"

"Woah, slow down man!" Robin exclaimed. "One at a time. So there's a girl. You like her. She probably likes you. Mom says no, right?"

"Yeah, what should I do?"

"Have you tried asking your dad?"

"Um, no," Morgan said quietly. "Does that actually work? I feel like Dad just says 'ask mom' all the time."

"Trust me, I know my sister. She really wants to raise you two right," Rob said. "Chrom's definitely the fun one."

"Really?"

"When's the last time your mom took you to do anything fun?"

"Well… I don't know…"

"Come on! I bet even Lucina's figured it out now. Ask Dad is the way to go."

"Okay, if you say so…"

They were silent for a while.

"By the way, can I pick the music?" Morgan asked.

"Go for it," Rob replied.

"You're kinda a boomer," Morgan commented.

"Your mom says not to play my other music for you," Rob retorted.

"Oh…"


	3. Chapter 3

**I've really neglected this story. I hope you don't mind.**

"Hey! Rob, it's been a while man, how you been?" Marth asked. "Oh is that Morgan? Man, you've gotten so tall!" Marth hugged his grandson. He shook hands with his son-in-law.

"Thanks, pops," Rob said. "Been a while since I've seen ya."

"How'd the Army treat ya?" Marth asked.

"Same old. You know how it is."

Marth laughed. "It's been a while. I'm surprised you remembered!"

"You _did_ drive me to the airport after my initial entry training got delayed," Rob reminded him. "And you told that weird story about your time as a platoon leader."

"Oh hi sweetie!" Caeda said. She kissed her grandson on the cheek. "I missed you soooo much," she said, hugging her grandson until he squealed. She turned to Marth and said somewhat angrily, "See! This wasn't so bad!"

Marth made a groaning noise.

"Oh, don't give me that," Caeda said. She turned to Rob. "You're a little old to be pampered like that," she laughed, as she hugged him.

"Thanks for sparing me, mama," Rob groaned. "You're- you're still crushing my-"

"Oops! Sorry, hehe," Caeda said as she let go. She patted Rob on his head, to which he groaned.

_Why the hell does Caeda look like she _just _turned 29 yesterday? Marth's kinda pruning. Beard wasn't the move._

"Well the others are waiting, so let's go inside," Caeda said. "C'mon babe." She turned to Marth, who was chasing Morgan.

"Morgan, come on, give your grandad back his visor." Rob called. "His old legs can't catch yours."

"Aww… come on," Morgan whined. Marth thanked Rob.

"Can't you act 14?" Rob chided.

Caeda laughed. When Marth came back, he had a visibly distraught look on his face. Caeda kissed him on the cheek and dragged him ahead.

"Don't make me tell your mother," Rob warned.

"Please don't," Morgan begged. "She's really particular about how I act around Grandpa Marth."

Rob sighed. He opened the door. "You first."

The restaurant was a somewhat casual restaurant sit-down restaurant that featured seafood. Chrom and Robin's town was close enough to the shore where fresh catches could be delivered every day. Lissa was late (she was working the late shift today), and Chrom was giving Lucina an earful on proper social media usage.

_Damn, did I cause all of this? _Rob wondered.

"Hi! Welcome to Byleth's! Can I take your order?" A cute girl with pigtails came over to their table.

"C-Cynthia!" Morgan said.

"Oh! Hi!... Morgan was it?" The girl asked.

Morgan nodded.

"Wait that means…" she gasped. "_Lucinaaaaaa," _she sang.

"Cynthia?" Lucina asked. She got up from the table to hug her friend. They started chatting about school for a bit, before Robin broke them up so the family could order some food. Lissa had texted the family group chat her order, so Chrom knew what to get her.

Rob elbowed Morgan. "Is this the girl?" Rob whispered.

"N-no. She's just really hot, and I walked in on her changing once while she was staying over, so it's really awkward," Morgan whispered back.

"Oh… Yeah, that's kinda awkward," Rob responded. Rob flipped through the menu. He nudged Chrom.

"Who's Byleth?" Rob asked.

Chrom shrugged. "Dad knows the manager here… allegedly."

"What's good here?"

"Well since you can be a fatass now that you're out of the Army, I recommend…" Chrom began recommending really fatty foods on the menu. Rob salivated for a moment then snapped out of it.

"Do you need me to order something kinda healthy to set an example for your son?" Rob whispered.

"Uh… nah. Go for it," Chrom replied. Chrom soon realized that Robin could sense what he said.

Morgan looked at Rob. Rob waved him away. Morgan looked at his dad. Chrom gulped. Robin glared at them from across the table. Lucina pulled out her phone to begin texting idly. Rob sighed.

"Just the catch of the day for me then," Rob asked Cynthia.

"Ooookay! One catch the day," Cynthia said. "What sides?"

Rob, never faltering, asked for something light. Morgan copied Rob, only changing to a slightly more filling side. When they were done, Rob looked across the table. Robin had relaxed her gaze. Lucina was still texting. Marth and Caeda were sitting across the table smiling at everything. Chrom breathed a sigh of relief.

"Aunt Lissa!" Lucina called.

_Wow… This is gonna be awkward if Morgan ever finds that album. _Rob thought.

"Heyyyy, how's my _favorite _niece?" She sang. She hugged Lucina and then approached Morgan.

"I didn't forget you either," she said, kissing Morgan on the cheek.

"Eww…" Morgan moaned.

"Awww… come here you," she said to Rob. Rob hugged her. "Oh! I have something for you!" Lissa gasped. She reached into her purse and pulled an odd can. "Open it!"

Rob, ever gullible, opened it.

He got hit in the face with a paper snake to which he jumped.

Lissa started giggling, "You're so easy to trick."

Rob groaned. "Why did I have a crush on you growing up?"

Lissa giggled. "Because I'm _soooo _cute. Your face still does that weird thing by the way." She patted him on the head and went to go sit. "Where's Emmeryn?" She asked.

"She's actually flying out tonight," Chrom said. "Business trip."

"See! I told you it couldn't possibly be everyone," Marth said to Caeda. Caeda elbowed him in the ribs. "Couch," she said plainly. Marth groaned. "Kidding!" she giggled.

The rest of the dinner continued as expected. The family enjoyed their time together and their food.

"So, Rob…" Caeda asked. "How are you gonna pay for college?"

Rob wiped his mouth. "Uh, I don't really know. I have enough saved up for the next 2 years? Maybe? I don't know."

"I thought they paid you more than that," Robin said.

"Yeah but I bought the truck."

Robin sighed. "You're ridiculous. You _knew _you had to pay for school."

"Oh come on, sis." Rob pleaded. "I needed the truck on base-"

Robin shook her head. "I really should make you pay rent while you stay with us because _you _need to learn some financial responsibility."

"That's uncalled for!" Rob exclaimed.

"Alright you two, settle down-" Chrom started.

"No! He _always _spends so much money it's-"

"No, please stop. That's more than enough dear," Caeda said firmly. Robin quieted down instantly. Lissa looked really unsettled while Lucina had a shit-eating grin on her face. Morgan was twiddling her thumbs, and Marth was still in the restroom.

Caeda turned back to Rob. "My friend Anna needs an intern. Have you heard of Annazon?"

Rob nodded his head. _Wait, who hasn't?_

"Well she says you can work there. You'd do a variety of jobs there and in turn get some pay and some job experience. It'll be cheaper and more accessible than getting a pilot-commercial certificate I suspect," Caeda said.

"This is a lot to think about mama," Rob said. "Can I get you an answer later?"

She smiled. "Of course. You have my number so feel free to text me any time."


End file.
